imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
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I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
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There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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