Do vagina's smell?
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Randomize
