do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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