He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
