Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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