I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
