we're chasing vodka with high fives
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment