i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
