she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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