Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
