I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
