Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Bang-toberfest begins!!
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
