maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
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