If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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