Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
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How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
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It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
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