wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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