I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
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