he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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