I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
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Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
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its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
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