I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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