Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
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