I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Randomize
