Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
