He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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