I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
