lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
my sisters under your porch take her home
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he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
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Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
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