so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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