we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
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i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
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Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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