They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Randomize
