i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
