just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Randomize
