Pregnant stripper...not hot.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
