He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
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