i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize