hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
