I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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