haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
