I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
