how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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