I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Randomize
