im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
