She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize