One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
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