we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
