In America we eat man semen.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
