Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize