you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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