awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Randomize
