she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
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