people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
