so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
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