we made out on top of his cat.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
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