My nipple is on Facebook.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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