please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
