You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Randomize
