Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Randomize
